I don't know about you, but I always start my day off with a visit to videocum.com. But today, the bagel guy put too much butter on my whole-wheat raisin curry, and I typed "videogum.com" into my browser. Guess what though? There's a blog there!

Dreamed up by the people behind Stereogum, Videogum is a new site covering TV, movies, web videos and games. It's written by two geniuses: Lindsay Robertson, who you may know as the editor of the blog you're reading right now before the gig was passed on to me, and Gabe Delahaye, who writes Corporate-Casual, a blog so original and funny it makes my brain weep from feelings of comedic inadequacy (nullus).

For your first taste of Videogum, I suggest Double Dog: The Today Show Challenge, the first of a series of dares and challenges.

Tuesday night, I attended a charity "bad art auction" hosted by Zach Galifianakis. My friend got Moby to pose for a picture there:

The highlight of the night was seeing the premiere of the Kanye West video Zach filmed on his farm in North Carolina, which was absolutely hilarious. As soon as it's on the internet we'll put it here!

Anyway, this post has a point: Video of Zach Galifianakis interviewing Moby about bad art.

I just spent the last forty-five minutes scouring the internet and bothering coworkers, all in hopes of finding the official medical term for fear of bears, bear phobia, or whatever you call it. Know what I found? NOTHING. To quote Lindsay, "This is just ridiculous. Everyone should be afraid of bears. Maybe it's just assumed."

Maybe. Anyway, I like how "grave distrust of bears" has become a theme amongst some of our favorite comedians. It's like we're in a Golden Age of Bear Humor:

Part II here.

P.S. Are you up to date with Mike's Secret Public Journal? (You should be.)

Okay, so I know most readers of Esquire (except me) are probably not comedy sophisticates, but my first impression reading their list of "up and coming" comedians was "Are you f**king kidding me, Esquire?"

This thing is so offensive to the comedy fan that I have no choice but to do a line-by-line analysis.

First, the premise: "Will the Next Dane Cook Please Stand Up?" Nothing against Dane Cook, who has worked hard to gain exactly the success he has, but it's a bit insulting to assume every comedian has a career goal of starring in Jessica Simpson movies. And then they go on to insult Dane Cook anyway! So why do they want "the next" one? (Answer: they needed an easy angle for their story)

Next, this jaw-dropper, italics mine:
"While many now think Cook's Burger King-based comedic stylings are
shit, that shit has provided the fertilizer for a bumper crop of
brilliant new-alt comics, all of whom are launching careers the same
way Cook did — using the Internet and bubbling up from the
underground."

Um, excuse me? Are you actually saying that David Cross, who any comedy fan recognizes as one of the most influential comedians of his generation (the most influential TV show: Mr. Show with Bob and David), is "launching a career" on the back of Dane Cook?  I want to punch something.

Now, Their List:

1. "David Cross: The Front Runner"
Yeah, no f**king sh*t. See above.

2. "Aziz Ansari: The Internet Sensation"
I'll give them this one on the "Esquire readers might appreciate discovering Aziz while looking for new ways of tying $250 ties or whatever" curve. But his success has nothing to do with Dane Cook.

3. "Demetri Martin: The Straight Man"
Yeah. Also: "Demetri Martin: The Comedian We Get Fan Letters About From Actual Grandmas in Nursing Homes".  Also, uh, Reader's Digest scooped you back in January. That has to hurt.

4. Flight of the Conchords: The Musical Duo
Nice!! It's only the most talked about show of the summer. Also, your prediction: "What’s next: Becoming the next Tenacious D, one raunchy sex song at a time." The next Tenacious D, you say? Oh, you mean the same Tenacious D that the aforementioned David Cross helped discover and produce? Just checking!

5. "Patton Oswalt: The Best Part of Anything He's In"
Spit take! Now I'm starting to think this list is intended to cause heart attacks. While Patton Oswalt is indeed the best part of anything he's in, if you're old enough to read Esquire and have not yet heard of Patton Oswalt, you are probably not now nor will ever be a comedy fan. Your disclosure: "(And also, he's written for Esquire)" And I'm sure he'll be dying to again now that you've suggested that his entire career grew up from the fertilizer of Dane Cook's shit!

6. "Ben Gleib: The Hidden Camera Guy"
Okay, you got me: I've never heard of this guy. But judging from your description:

You know him 'cause: He was the only funny part of The Real Wedding Crashers
His funniest bit involves…: Calling a random audience member out for a gaudy piece of clothing – and then biting on him for the entirety of his set.

I gather that 1. you watch The Real Wedding Crashers and 2. You have never seen a live comedy show other than this guy's because that's called "crowd work" and is most often (though not always) associated with hacks.

Which, when I think about it, means at least 1/6th of this list could be correct. Thanks, Esquire! I'll look for this last dude in the next Jessica Simpson vehicle!

Later this week: I'll give you OUR list of up and coming comedians. (And maybe I'll throw in some incorrect instructions for tying a Windsor knot just to make things even.)

UPDATE: Leave your suggestions in the comments!

The Summer of Laughter 2007: Summer Comedy Countdown: #3

(1967 was the summer of love (ask your grandparents), and a plethora of factors (the sleeper hit comedies of '05, Judd Apatow, People Who Used to be on "The State") have come together to poise the summer of 2007 to be one of the best ever for comedy movies! Wooo!!! From now until the Friday after Labor Day, we'll be helping you make informed choices about your summer comedy viewing, with a little help from our friends from the comedy world. Wondering when a comedy comes out? Check out our comprehensive comedy movie release date calendar!)

First: the countdown: I did an informal poll of co-workers, friends, contributors to this blog, and comedy people, presenting them with the names of every comedy opening in the US between now and the Friday after Labor Day and asking one question:

Which comedy movie or movies are you MOST looking forward to this summer and why?

Each day this week I'm counting down the top 5 from my informal poll, with a few choice quotes (some from people who were in the movies!) Watch the trailers and decide for yourself!

3. Balls of Fury
Release Date: August 31
Official Site/Trailer: Balls of Fury

Anticipated Because: It's another movie by alumni of The State (in this case, Reno 911!'s Ben Garant and Tom Lennon). And any movie whose title won't have to be changed for the adult film version is good with us.

Choice Quotes:

"I'm just glad that all the Asians in Hollywood get to do something together now that 4 Fast 4 Furious might not be in the works. Also, dude from Heroes always seems funny to me." – Andrew Ti

"Christopher Walken looks like a geisha and it's written by my two favorite members of the state.  Gold." – Rob Penty

"To see if Thomas Lennon wears shorts in this project too, and to see if director Robert Ben Garant  "got the best" out of Walken." Joe Lo Truglio

"Christopher Walken in ethnic drag, Maggie Q as the inexplicable love interest to Dan Fogler, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa reduced to "mysterious Asian man." It's enough to raise every PC/angry asian hackle on the back of my neck. But then I saw the trailer with James Hong's rib-tickling takes and found out R. Ben Garant/Tom Lennon penned the script. Throw in Patton, Brian Posehn, Terry Hughes and Kerri Kenney-Silver into the mix – I'm willing to give it a shot." - Dustin Chinn

* This essay has something to do with Patton Oswalt but I'll give you a medal if you can figure out what the point of it is.

* The story of how Mad Libs were invented!

* Reno 911! Miami (unrated) is out on DVD.

The Summer of Laughter 2007: Summer Comedy Countdown: #4

(1967 was the summer of love (ask your grandparents), and a plethora of
factors (the sleeper hit comedies of '05, Judd Apatow, People Who Used to be on "The State") have come
together to poise the summer of 2007 to be one of the best ever
for comedy movies! Wooo!!! From now until the Friday after Labor Day, we'll be helping
you make informed choices about your summer comedy viewing, with a
little help from our friends from the comedy world. Wondering when a comedy comes out? Check out our comprehensive comedy movie release date calendar!)

First: the countdown: I did an informal poll of co-workers, friends,
contributors to this blog, and comedy people, presenting them with the
names of every comedy opening in the US between now and the Friday
after Labor Day and asking one question:

Which comedy movie or movies are you MOST looking forward to this summer and why?

Each day this week I'm counting down the top 5 from my informal poll, with a few choice quotes (some from people who were in the movies!) Watch the trailers and decide for yourself!

#4:  Ratatouille
Release Date: June 29
Official Site/Trailer

Synopsis: A rat named Remy (voiced by Patton Oswalt) dreams of becoming a famous chef.

Anticipated Because: We are the hardest-core Patton Oswalt fans who exist in the world. And he wouldn't do this if the script sucked!

Choice Quotes:

"Brad Bird is the closest thing to animation's Judd Apatow since . . . Pixar head honcho John Lasseter, genuinely funny and moving without insulting the intelligence of adults or kids. Patton Oswalt could be reading a French tax code I'd show up – he sits that high in the pantheon." – Dustin Chinn

"The only thing I love more than comedy is food, and as delicious as that sandwich was in Spanglish, Ratatouille looks like the funniest food movie since Salo.  Also, I hope Ratatouille is a gigantic success so that 1) Patton Oswalt gets to do whatever projects he wants and 2) an entire generation of children are falling asleep each night to the sounds of Patton's voice.  This will condition them for good comedy
later in life." – Max Silvestri, Comedian

(We'll be covering Ratatouille until it comes out, and stay
tuned each day this week for the rest of our Top 5 Summer comedy
countdown.)

Earlier: The Summer of Laughter

The Summer of Laughter 2007: Summer Comedy Countdown and Calendar

(1967 was the summer of love (ask your grandparents), and a plethora of
factors (the sleeper hit comedies of '05, Judd Apatow, People Who Used to be on "The State") have come
together to poise the summer of 2007 to be one of the best ever
for comedy movies! Wooo!!! From now until the Friday after Labor Day, we'll be helping
you make informed choices about your summer comedy viewing, with a
little help from our friends from the comedy world. Wondering when a comedy comes out? Check out our comprehensive comedy movie release date calendar!)

First: the countdown: I did an informal poll of co-workers, friends,
contributors to this blog, and comedy people, presenting them with the
names of every comedy opening in the US between now and the Friday
after Labor Day and asking one question:

Which comedy movie or movies are you MOST looking forward to this summer and why?

Each day this week I'll be counting down the top 5 from my informal poll, with a few choice quotes (some from people who were in the movies!) Watch the trailers and decide for yourself!

#5: The Brothers Solomon
Release Date: September 7
Official Site (including unrated trailer)

Synopsis: Will Arnett and Will Forte are two home-schooled brothers who must fulfill their dying father's wish by getting someone, uh, knocked up. Written by Will Forte, directed by Bob Odenkirk.

Anticipated Because: We are the hardest-core Bob Odenkirk fans in the world.

Choice Quotes:

"I'm looking forward to "The Brothers Solomon," because its director, Bob Odenkirk, told me he thought I would enjoy it.  Normally, that wouldn't be very convincing, but Odenkirk had just told me *he* didn't enjoy two of his three previous films." – Jesse Thorn, The Sound of Young America

"Though it's going to suffer in unfair comparison to another man-child-dealing-with-parenting comedy, I'm digging "The Brothers Solomon" because of the Bob Odenkirk pedigree, the hilariously smarmy Will
Arnett and the wonderfully sick red band trailer has some great smart dumb jokes. (Yes, a cold Dixie cup is an unappealing way to describe a vagina.)" – Todd Jackson, Dead-Frog.com

(We'll be covering The Brothers Solomon until it comes out, and stay tuned each day this week for the rest of our Top 5 Summer comedy countdown.)

This new David Cross gay fan fiction (NSFW!) is clearly a joke, and not in the way that all fan fiction is a joke, in a "this is the only fan fiction this person has every written and this person may or may not be a friend of David Cross's" joke, but pretty much every single word of it is hysterically funny. Like:

"The song was a good one, with a four-four untz-untz-untz-untz with some
stellar synthesizers in the background. David Cross thrusted his hips
like he had like he had never thrursted before in his life, and his
bald, shiny head reflected the light from the disco ball ten feet above
the dance floor."

(But truly, read the whole thing.)

This summer's Comedy Central Roast-ee Flavor Flav shared with TMZ his views on our president, the war, and Paris Hilton.Should someone make a joke about it at the roast, you will get that joke.

This is the funniest thing that's been written about it so far:

Flava Flav Speaks Our Mind

Earlier: Flavor Flav Timed for Carbon-Free Roast

The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav debuts on Sunday, August 12 at 10p/9c.