Comedy Central Insider Blog

Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special Sebastian Live premieres this Saturday night at 11pm / 10c, so all this week, he's been guest-blogging right here.

The one thing I hear the most when I talk to people after the shows is how much they love my Ross Dress for Less bit.  The first time I was introduced to Ross was March of ’98 when I moved to LA.  I couldn’t believe what I had walked into.  I had thought an earthquake hit and they hadn’t had a chance to clean up the mess.  The one thing that stuck out the most was the shoe section.  I literally couldn’t find a pair.  I found one shoe on the floor and inside the shoe was a jump rope.  Wow.  How the hell did that happen?

I initially went looking for sheets but when I saw the bedding isle I changed my mind.  I saw two kids sleeping and covered with a Tommy Hilfinger queen flat sheet.   It was as if their parents had tucked them in while they went shopping around the store.  I then saw, and this is no lie, a cat walking on top of one of the shelves.  Did someone bring a cat to Ross?  Is it a stray?  Is Ross selling pets?

I do have to admit you can find gems at Ross.  Tons of people are there on any given weekend rummaging through racks of clothes looking for that pair of Seven jeans for  $2.95.  However, one of the legs might have a can of paint spilled on it.

Do you have any funny Ross for Less stories?  If so, I would love for you to use the comments to explain and Ill send a copy of my new DVD Sebastian Live to my favorite story.

Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special Sebastian Live premieres this Saturday night at 11pm / 10c, so all this week, he'll be guest-blogging right here.

I just checked into my hotel room in Vegas and I have to tell everyone that we need a dress code in this city. I was waiting to check into my room and the couple in front of me had no shoes on. I thought to myself, how the hell do you lose your shoes between the lobby and the front desk? Did someone steal his or her luggage? Did they fly on an airplane barefoot? Do they like the feel of Italian marble under their feet? Can someone out there explain to me how people walk into public places without shoes? I can’t wrap my mind around it.

On the walk to my room, which took about 7 minutes, I glanced at the blackjack table and noticed a woman playing cards with a dog on her lap. What?! First, why did this woman think her dog was going to enjoy Las Vegas? I have heard about bringing a rabbit’s foot to Vegas for good luck but a full grown Maltese? Come on! Is this a new way of counting cards? Does Fifi know something the casino pit bosses don’t? Keep your dogs at home! The guests of a hotel aren’t paying $200 a night to smell your dog’s ass at the craps table!

I then entered the hotel elevator and saw five guys in their 30s carry a cooler of alcohol to their room. I'm sorry, is this spring break at South Padre Island? When did FUN JET start flying to Vegas? What happened to checking into your room, putting a suit on and sipping on a cocktail at the lounge while listening to a sultry blonde in her 40s belt out some fantastic songs. Nope. Not here. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? No… What ever happened to Vegas?

After the jump, you can see three new preview clips from Sebastian Live.

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Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special Sebastian Live premieres this Saturday night at 11pm / 10c, so all this week, he'll be guest-blogging right here.

I have a received a ton of messages asking if I could give any advice to comedians just starting out. I find this flattering because it feels like yesterday that I was waiting outside of the Comedy Store so I could draw a number for a 3-minute spot.

From a very early age I knew I was going to be a stand up comedian. It has always been in my blood to make people laugh. Thus my journey begins. Shortly after I graduated college, I moved back to my hometown of Chicago. I then enrolled in classes at Second City, worked at United Airlines and waited tables at night. My goal was to save up enough money to move to LA. After two grueling years, I had reached my goal. So it was at the age of 24 that I packed my bags and headed West.

I knew nothing about stand up comedy. I tried it once in college, but that was it. I knew I was going to have to start performing in front of people, so I starting taking a stand up comedy class at the Comedy Store–this allowed me to perform every week in front of my peers. The class provided a safe environment for me to use the stage, mic, audience and lights. It also helped me understand what it felt like doing my material in front of complete strangers.

Now for all you comedians starting out, I recommend you get on stage every night of the week. It doesn’t matter where–a coffee house, restaurant, bowling alley or a boxing ring. Yes I have performed in a boxing ring but that’s another blog.

Comedy is just like anything else in life–in order to be great you must practice! My advice to you is to not worry about getting representation for the first 4 or 5 years. I remember thinking after two years of doing comedy, “Why am I not getting steady work, and more importantly, why am I not headlining clubs?!” You know why? I SUCKED! Of course it's great to have high expectations, but to get where you want to be you need to keep doing your material and continue to get on stage–you will be surprised how the work will find you. In 2005 I was lucky enough to be chosen by Vince Vaughn, touring the country with him and being part of his Wild West Comedy Show. He just so happened to see me on a Tuesday night at an Irish Pub that had comedy. Go figure.

So I will end with this: Always remember to stay true to your craft, and if you are persistent and patient, you will then begin to see the fruits of your labor. I myself was able quit my day job on Sept 10, 2005. I waited tables for 7 years before I started making a real living doing comedy. I hope this helps some of you and I wish all of you the very best. Now go get a cup of coffee and go to work!

After the jump, check out a preview clip from Sebastian Live.

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Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special Sebastian Live premieres this Saturday night at 11pm / 10c, so all this week, he'll be guest-blogging right here.

My name is Sebastian and this is my first ever Comedy Central blog and it couldn’t of come at a better time. I’m annoyed with people! I would consider myself a regular at Subway for the last 5 years. I enjoy the foot long turkey on wheat with the works, but over the last year I am finding Subway is not one of my favorite places anymore. Oh no, don’t get me wrong, it’s not Subway that’s the problem, it’s the people who are ordering the sandwiches that have tainted my current experiences.

The process of ordering is easy. Type of bread, type of meat, and the condiments you like. Done. One would think. However, people now have made ordering a sub a huge test of my patience. Here are some of the requests I have heard while waiting in line and the response I was thinking in my head while my face turned red.

“Can you hollow out the bread? You guys have to much bread in your bread.”

What! To much bread in your bread? Isn’t that what bread is? Bread.

“I'm not going to get cheese or olives so can I have double meat instead”

Double meat! That’s like saying I’m not going to use the pool at a hotel so can I get a discount.

“I want a footlong but I want half of it to be meat ball and the other half to be ham”

That’s what you call two six inch sandwiches you cheap bastard!

“What’s in the Veggie Sandwich?”

Steak!

What does everyone think? Has this notion of I want it my way gone too far? I think so. Your way is screwing up my day! GO HOME AND MAKE YOUR OWN SANDWICH!

After the jump, get a preview of Sebastian Live with a special animated video.

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