Aziz Ansari has his life told through pictures/celebrities talking about the pictures. [Funny or Die]

I'm putting this track of Kristen Wiig singing "Champion" from the MacGruber soundtrack on my iPod and listening to it while jogging blogging. [Stereogum]

Adam McKay announced on Twitter that the Anchorman 2 movie probably isn't going to happen. [/film]

Richard Pryor even makes the alphabet sound dirty. [Punchline]

Eugene Mirman has an e-card you should put into your eyes and ears. [Punchline]

It looks like Max Weinberg will not be following Conan O'Brien in the move to TBS. [Zap 2 It]

Reese Waters had tea with Mike Tyson because okay. [Best Week Ever]

Moshe Kasher mentioned us in an interview, and I'm a total narcissist, so here it is, "A good description I saw recently on the Comedy Central Insider Blog called me 'one of the more breathless, blitzkrieg-style comedians around,' which I thought was a neat description." [AV Club]

Patton Oswalt will join Twitter on Saturday. He used MySpace to announce this, which is kind of like asking your mistress to propose to your girlfriend for you. [MySpace]

Ricky Gervais will host the Golden Globes once again. Making this the second year in a row that I actually remember that the Golden Globes are a thing. [ABC News]

Paul Reubens has joined the cast of The Smurfs as Jokey Smurf. Today's secret word is "comeback." AAAAHHHH! [Movie Web]

Sarah Silverman is currently in talks to play Seth Rogen's sister in an upcoming indie movie. [Variety]

This is what having dinner with Bill Murray is like, "He will compliment the chefs by smacking his lips and crying out in mock ecstasy. If roasted duck is involved, he will beat his chest." [NY Mag]

Irrefutable evidence that Justin Bieber is the Antichrist or parody music video made by comedians? You decide! [Comic's Comic]

As regular readers know, I don't care for comedy, and I don't own a TV. However, in some upside-down alternate reality where the plane never crashed, I probably love comedy and own ten TVs. And if you're like bizarro me, you'll want to be sure to tune-in to Spike's Weekend Pre-Game tomorrow night at 12am / 11c, because the hilarious Brian Posehn will be on to promote his new album Fart and Wiener Jokes. If you've never seen the show, here's a taste of what to expect:

Yesterday, we gave you the blank-filling-in stylings of the hilarious Myq Kaplan, whose Comedy Central Presents airs Friday at 11:30pm / 10:30c. Today, it's Ryan Stout's turn to open his soul to us. Ryan has appeared on Chelsea Lately and was host of MTV's A Shot at Love: The Hangover. After the jump, you can find some clips from his Comedy Central Presents, which premieres Friday at 11pm / 10c. But first, the interview.

I’m a comedian and I’m…
…not selling anything after the show.

Word of advice…
Never, EVER, giggle while consoling a rape victim. Even if their story involves pickles.

I’m not hilarious when…
…lives are at stake. Then, I’m only amusing. I tone it down so that I don’t detract from the rescue effort.

Thallium…
…isn’t funny.
Now, Zinc… Zinc is funny.

Imitation is…
…arguably one of the most important elements of post-modern comedy. But, to talk about it any further would require you to know about the theories of Baudrillard, which I’m sure you don’t. (Right now, I’m imitating an elitist prick.)

It’s inappropriate to…
…ignore the safeword.

Definition of road-tail is…
…any girl who knows where I’m staying before I tell her. That’s a pretty good sign she slept with the comedian who was in town last week.

“With the ugly wallpaper?”

Yeah, that’s the place, Slut.

My extreme energy drink would be called…
“Jittery Hate-Maker”

Soapbox to haters…
“People don’t know what’s good, they know what they like.”
“People don’t know what they like, they like what they know.”
Now you know me, so you must think I’m good.

Most memorable heckle…
1) A girl quietly approached the stage, stood directly in front of me, and didn’t say anything. I said, “Hi. How are you?” No response. “Are you enjoying the show?” Nothing. She refused to talk. Then, she stepped up onto the stage and just stood there with her back to the crowd. Within seconds, security escorted her off-stage and out of the show room. (Turns out, she’s bi-polar and wasn’t supposed to be drinking with her medication.) Given more time, I would’ve gotten her to take her top off.

2) Two old men, seated at separate tables, in the center of the room, started heckling me as soon as I hit the mic. One was yelling, “I can’t hear.” And the other was yelling, “It’s too loud.” The sound quality wasn’t an issue for anyone else, but these two guys somehow had opposite problems. I told them to switch seats, but they preferred to stay put and scowl for the whole show.

A memoir by me…
“Self-Congratulatory: Because if I don’t do it, no one else will.”

How would you like the world to end?
Well, I hope that doesn’t happen. But, if it does, I would be kind of proud if it were because of something I said.

Read more »

Brian Posehn dropped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night to promote his new album you should buy Fart and Weiner Jokes. [LNWJF]

Myq Kaplan's album Vegan Mind Meld dropped today. You can tell it's legit, because I used the word "dropped" to describe it's release. [iTunes]

The Anchorman sequel is looking more and more like a possibility. [MTV Movies]

Nick Kroll recommends both improv and stand-up, "If you want to be a stand-up take an improv class. If you want to be an improviser, do stand up. It all helps one another." [Punchline]

In this interview, Adam McKay talks about The Other Guys first cut being four hours long. That is a very long time! [MTV Movies]

Nicol Paone dresses up like Russell Brand and interviews the cast of Get Him to the Greek. Not surprisingly, Russell Brand is into it. [Funny or Die]

Here's a list of the top ten SNL cast member crack ups. Not surprisingly, Jimmy Fallon is into cracking up. [Best Week Ever]

According to Wikipedia, Myq Kaplan has a master's degree in linguistics from Boston University. Although, Wikipedia also says Apple released a laptop in 1994 called the PenisBook 503, so who knows what's really true anymore?

One thing is for sure though and that is that Myq Kaplan is a very funny dude, and you, I and the Wikipedia editors can all cite that fact together this Friday night when Comedy Central Presents Myq Kaplan premieres. You'll find some clips and an exclusive webcam video Myq made after the jump, but first, here's an interview he did for us.

I'm a comedian and…
…You're welcome and/or I'm sorry.

What's not funny?
Lying isn't funny. Telling the truth isn't funny. Playing "two truths and a lie" isn't funny. At least one of those, I think, has to be the right answer. Also, logical paradoxes aren't funny.

Most memorable heckle…
…I was telling a joke about how ghosts aren't real and someone said "Boo." As in "Boo, I am a human that disagrees," not "Boo! I'm a scary ghost that exists and disagrees." That would have been even more memorable.

A memoir by you…
…Two Truths and a Lie, where either the book jacket or the content or the title is a lie, and the others are the truth.

I'm not hilarious when…
…it's opposite day. Or when it ISN'T opposite day. Or maybe I'm not hilarious when I'm making "opposite day" jokes.

Definition of road-tail…
…the opposite of road-head.

My extreme energy drink would be called…
…"Relax."

My secret is…
…nice try. My secret is I never reveal my secrets. Until now. Damn. You're good.

Imitation is…
…"the act or an instance of imitating." (That's my imitation of a dictionary. Imagine me looking more like a book… perfect.)

Soap box to haters…
…I'm with you! I get it!

How would I like the world to end?
I've heard you're supposed to be careful for what you wish for, because sometimes genies are mean. So, if the world HAS to end, I wish for it to be in happiness for everyone, including freedom for you, genie whose heart is melted by my compassion. Do I win?

Word of advice…
…only one word? I'm only allowed one advice word? Did I ruin it already? Is this too many words? I haven't even given any advice yet. Okay. Advice: if anyone ever asks you for a word of advice, don't do this.

Comedy Central Presents Myq Kaplan premieres Friday at 11:30pm / 10:30c, right after Comedy Central Presents Ryan Stout.

Read more »

John Mulaney, seriously one of the funniest people around, appeared on SNL's Weekend Update to talk to us about Girl Scout cookies. John Mulaney fans with good memories (Elephants have good memories. Are there any elephants that are Mulaney fans? If there are… RUN! An ivory dealer is trying to kill you probably!) will recognize the Girl Scout rant as part of his stand-up. But he delivered it in a way that made it seem more like real editorial and less like a bit. Very great work everyone!

Please keep giving us more Mulaney, SNL! He is the best! BTW, you should buy Mulaney's album The Top Part. You can even get it on iTunes if you want.

In this video interview, Nick Swardson talks about his quick rise in the comedy ranks. He only performed for six months before being asked to do the HBO Aspen Comedy Festival! [Punchline]

If you were wondering what the very funny Michaela Watkins was up to since her unfortunate departure from SNL last year, the answer is starring in this video Diablo Cody wrote. [Funny or Die]

Finally, an oral history of Insane Clown Posse parody videos. As Shaggy 2 Dope says, "It’s a satire. Mad silliness through the whole thing." [NY Times]

Here's the story of how Rob Lowe got cast on Parks and Recreation. There seems to be a fair amount of network savvy to the decision, but the storyline sounds genuinely interesting. [The Wrap]

Carmen Lynch talks Punchline's comedy test about playing Latino comedy shows, "So far only one booker got mad at me for being from Spain. He got all up in my face about being too tall and having pale skin." [Punchline]

ABC is planning a slew of NBA finals-related specials with Jimmy Kimmel. [THR]

Robert Downey Jr. says Due Date, his upcoming film with Zach Galifiankais, is the second greatest movie he's ever done. [Moviehole]

Carol Burnett and Tim Conway talk about their career together, working on the classic Carol Burnett Show. [LA Times]

Subway Douchery, the blog run by "mild-mannered Brooklyn comedian" Tom Sibley, had yet another article written about it. [NY Daily News]

I guess all the loose ends are being tied. Conan's production company Conaco likely moving to Warner Brothers. [TV Squad]

Doug Stanhope talks about different kinds of crowds, "Some of them want more political shit, others want you to talk about the New World Order—or they want more fist-fuck material." [AV Club]

Marc Maron had Robin Williams on his last WTF podcast and it sounds amazing from these previews. Maron can basically get anyone to open up and talk about their personal life. [Punchline]

If you love do-it-yourself home makeover shows and sex dungeons, this video was made for you. [The Daily What]

Megan Mullally is coming back in the second season of Parks and Recreation as Ron Swanson's ex-wife. [Entertainment Weekly]

If you don't want to see Zach Galifianakis as the Little Dancing Man in the next Tim and Eric, I have to ask, have you no soul? [Punchline]

Senator Scott Brown reacted to SNL's sketch about him where-in he was portrayed by Jon Hamm [Gawker]

As Punchline points out, watching this video interview with Chris Rock and Tracy Morgan is pure joy. If I had a choice of taking one thing with me to a desert island, it would be a flashdrive containing this video. That's not true. It's just an exaggeration illustrating how much fun I had watching the video. If I went to a desert island, I'd probably bring Red Bull to give me wings so I could fly out of there. That's not true either. I am such a liar! Watch this great video interview with these two great guys.

It's good to see the Moviefone people are landing back on their feet now that phones have gone extinct.